


Returning Heartbeat

by feeniecchi



Series: Bylad and the lads [5]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Not Beta Read, Team as Family, also some A support spoilers just so u know, like if ur up to gronder field v2.0 ur good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-08 04:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20310160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feeniecchi/pseuds/feeniecchi
Summary: Dimitri, teeth bared and snarling, would always proclaim how it didn't matter who died by his hand.Let it be foe or old friend, his hands would not hesitate to crush their skulls.But during the second battle of the Eagle and Lion, as his lance pierces a body that he did not intend to hit, he feels his world crumble apart once again.Sometimes one realizes their feelings when it seems to be too late.





	1. Part One: Invaded by the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my cat who stopped me from writing for a while by laying down on my keyboard ilu sammy

Byleth's commanding voice rung through the Gronder Field as he tried to direct the Blue Lions to victory with no losses after using the Divine Pulse the very last time.  
Exhausted from using his Godly powers, his mind was racing with possible outcomes and routes that he could take to make sure that everyone would receive as few wounds and damage as possible.  
He would take most blows because he knew he could take it. Another scar joining the rest littering his skin wouldn't make a difference as long as the others stayed save.

Fighting against the Golden Deer made his stomach feel as though it was filled with lead.

Lorenz' dying face flashed through his mind every single time he heard Claude announce his presence after every usage of the Diving Pulse.  
Tears stung in his eyes as he tried to blink them away, giving his next command to Mercedes to patch up Dedue in a steady voice as he masked his inner turmoil.  
The thought that Lorenz was happy that he got to spend his last breath with Byleth nearly made his lips tremble.  
Forced by the Empire, the purple-haired man was going to die either trying to fight or going back defeated and getting punished with death.

So when Byleth's sword pierced his body, he had smiled as blood trickled down the corner of his lips and thanked him with tears in his eyes. Lorenz had told him with his dying breath that it was a shame that they couldn't have shared some tea one last time before finally closing his eyes.

Which caused the former professor to plan their movements so that his teammates had as little involvement with the Golden Deer as possible.  
Byleth was making sure that at most everyone from the former Golden Deer house would get injured so they would have to get taken off the battlefield.  
He knew that no one of the Blue Lions would be able to forgive themselves if they were to strike down any of their former classmates for no reason so he made sure to keep them going towards the Empire, a battle against old friends they couldn't avoid.  
If any of the Black Eagles students stood in their way, the minty-haired male made sure to handle things on his own.  
While he was certain he couldn't handle another death of his students by his own very hands, Byleth was going to shoulder that burden so the others didn't have to.

It used to be so much easier back then when his foes didn't have names and pleasant memories attached to their faces.

Another soul lost their life by Byleth's hand as he struck Bernadetta down, blood coating the blade as he pulled the weapon out of her body. Tears felt heavy to force back down as he whispered a prayer that Rhea once taught him a long time ago.  
While he wasn't a religious person, he felt he owned the girl as much as his current position as the archbishop and her teacher.  
He had tried so hard to spare the Black Eagles students but leaving them alive usually resulted in the death of his own team members, which weighed even heavier in his stomach.   
  
The moment the hill had been taken over, Edelgard drowned it in flames.  
  
To his left, the members of the Alliance drew closer as he placed the dead girl's body on the grass slightly away from the hill.  
Green eyes watched Leonie and Raphael coming closer and closer to the bright burning hill.  
Readying his weapon, he barked the orders to continue towards the Empire as he prepared to take on the people of the Golden Deer.

“Professor! You're alive...” he heard Leonie whisper in disbelieve as she spotted him near the foot of the hill, the Sword of the Creator coated in blood as it glistened in the bright sun.

“I-I don't wanna fight you, professor, but...” Leonie looked troubled as she gripped her lance tightly.

“Leonie, I do not wish to fight you either,” Byleth replied, his gaze earnest as his eyes flickered to Raphael that had just arrived behind Leonie.

“Professor! Wow, it's been ages!” For a man in the middle of a gruesome battlefield, Raphael possibly looked delighted as he spotted the shorter male, ignoring the fact that the professor had been thought of being dead before realization hit him. “But wait, does that mean we have to–”

“Yes,” the red-head simply replied as she readied her horse, “I wish I wouldn't have to fight Captain Jeralt's son but I–”

“I understand, Leonie,” Byleth closed his eyes before nodding once to steel his determination and raised his sword, “come at me with everything you got.”

Raphael looked torn between yelling at Leonie to snap out of it or trying to talk his professor out of this nonsense.

The woman let out a yell before charging the older male, ready to strike him down albeit the pained expression that graced her face.  
It didn't take look for Raphael to sense that Leonie was in trouble. Whilst having trained these past 5 years, she still was no match to the skills of Jeralt's own flesh and blood and struggled against the skilled dodges and blows that he was delivering.  
While the blond preferred not to fight against his former professor, he couldn't just watch Leonie die. So, he let out a battle cry as he flung himself at Byleth, only to the skillfully counter by the extended relic that he wielded.

Before Raphael knew what was happening, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder. White noises filled his ears as he gripped the wounded area, blood gushing wildly from the stab wound he had just received.  
“Raphael!” he heard Leonie's panicked scream as she tried to ride over to where he was kneeling, only to be thrown off the horse by Byleth as he swung his extended relic at her.

Leonie hissed as she felt the impact of her body hitting the floor. She quickly tried to get up to get her lance but the moment she put pressure on her right foot, pain shot through her leg and noticed the deep and long gash across her right calve.  
The lance user collapsed right then and there, blood running from the wound that was nearly deep enough to see her bones.

Moments later, she fainted.

Byleth quickly made his way over and let white magic run from his fingertips into her body, watching the muscle tissue of her calve close up slowly.  
It would scar and Leonie wouldn't be able to walk correctly for a short while but everything was better than actually having to kill her.  
Raphael barely registered that the other male had made his way over to him. When the blond looked up he expected to receive his finishing blow.  
What he didn't expect was Byleth standing in front of him with a knocked out Leonie in his arms.  
The professor placed her gently on the grass field and quickly went to work to patch up Raphael roughly.

“W-Why?” the blond couldn't help but ask as he felt Byleth gently gripping his arm as his other hand hovered over his wound.

“I never wanted to fight anyone of you, Raphael,” he heard the other mutter, pain flashing through his eyes as the corners of his mouth turned downwards. “Besides who's going to look after your little sister Maya when you're gone?”

Raphael felt tears well up in his eyes as he felt the other let go of his arm, a rare and gentle smile was given to him as Byleth reached out his hand for him to take.

With a strong tug, Raphael was up on his feet again. His shoulder still hurt like crazy and he wasn't able to move his arms correctly but it would be enough to carry Leonie of the battlefield.  
Leonie was pressed into his arms by Byleth and he took her without hesitation.  
“Go and don't come ever back,” Byleth told him, his voice loud and cold, his stern expression and his eyes... his eyes were soft and kind, pleading him to go so that he wouldn't have to take his life as well.

So, Raphael ran with Leonie still unconscious in his arms, retreating of the battlefield and thanked the Goddess just this once for letting him fight against Byleth and not the Empire.

Watching Raphael disappear of the field with Leonie, Byleth felt some of the weight that felt heavy in his heart lift. Now all he could hope for is them not meeting any of the Empire's soldiers or... Dimitri.  
Whilst Dimitri did follow his orders, he didn't do it all the time. There were be times where he would go on a sporadic killing spree or go to an entirely different location than ordered.  
Byleth tried his hardest to reach out to the haunted male but was hard.

_Very hard._

Five years of isolation and guilt weighing down on his shoulders were hard to get through but he wouldn't give up.  
He knew the old Dimitri was in there somewhere. He knew Dimitri wasn't just some coldblooded killing machine.  
And if it would take years to wake the blond noble up, he would be there, never leaving his side.

Byleth's heart nearly leaped out of his chest as he spotted Claude fly in on his white Wyvern, his relic on his hands and ready to fight.  
He had dealt with two of the Golden Deer members, Byleth was determined to deal with the rest as well.

No matter what, he would get them all home safe.

Claude spotted Byleth in an instant. That hair color and getup that he had received from Rhea years ago was unmistakable.  
The brunet had seen the way Byleth had fought Raphael and Leonie; how he had let the two get away in midst of the battle after sneakily patching them up.  
The wounds and blows the had received had been skillfully and methodically dealt so that a healer wouldn't be able to patch them up directly. It wasn't hard to figure out what his Teach was trying to do. Sparing Alliance members, knowing that they weren't enemies rather potential allies.  
He couldn't help but smile as he gave an excited wave and got a much more reserved one in return but the shy smile that the stoic male flashed him made Claude grin wider.

His Teach sure was always full of surprises.

Just as he was about to command his Wyvern Zana to fly down, he spotted the blond Princling Dimitri making his way over to him at full speed.  
_'Might as well try to get on his good side. I know Teach won't deny our request of joining forces but him...' _Claude thought to himself as he watched the noble, looking like a shell of his former self, _'Well, no time like the present, I guess.'_

Claude made his way over to the blond prince, cautiously since there was no telling what the other would do next.

But Byleth knew. As he gave another order to Felix to watch Sylvain's back, he watched Dimitri make his way to Claude in a haste.  
At that moment he realized what was about to happen. But he couldn't let the events transpire like last time, not _again_.

He had seen Claude fall to his death by Dimitri's hand too many times.

That chilling scream that escaped Claude's lips as the lance pierced the man's body over and over again. The blond couldn't seem to stop himself from mangling the brunet's corpse in every single timeline.  
But Byleth was prepared. Cyril at the current time was dismounted of his own Wyvern and taking up his role as an infantry archer like Byleh had ordered him to.  
Excusing himself, he mounted onto the younger man's Wyvern, he heard Cyril shout after him in confusion, and decided that no matter what may happen, he would stop this cycle of useless death.

Because he knew.

Although Dimitri seemed like another death by his hands was nothing to him, sooner or later he would come to regret taking Claude's life.

And it was Byleth's job to stop him from living with this heavy regret.

Another scream of agony runs through the battlefield as Dimitri slashed and stabbed one foe after another.  
The guts and limbs of his victims were left behind as a trail as blood painted his pale skin.

He was so close. Just a bit more. Just a few more enemies.  
Just a few more _rats_ added to his long list of victims that foolishly dared to get in his way.  
The blond could already feel that woman's pale hair tight in his grasp as he raised her head high for his deceased family members so see.  
He would present the cursed woman beheaded body, so that the fallen may finally rest and get their revenge.

And no one, absolutely _no one_, would get in his way.

He did not care if the lowly beast that he tore down next would be an old classmate or someone from his homeland.  
Anyone who dared to get in his way would be cut down. Even the professor.

Dimitri had seen the way the other would look at him, with _those _eyes.

“_I miss the old Dimitri.”_

_Hah!_ Truly foolish, this man. There was no old Dimitri. Never had been. That sweet little boy he used to be had died years ago in Duscur.  
Felix had been right all this time, seeing him as the disgusting being that he really had been since that tragedy.  
Dimitri was but a wild and lowly beast only out to seek revenge and the warmth of fresh blood.

Old feelings didn't matter. And those died years ago, rightfully so.

So when Dimitri stood in front of Claude who was mounted on a Wyvern he felt no hesitation.  
“I never would've thought that one day we would actually fight like this,” Dimitri heard Claude say with a pained expression.  
The leader of the Alliance had his bow at the ready but still seemed hesitant as the hand at the bowstring twitches in unease. “You wanna take down Edelgard as well, right? We shouldn't be fighting each other, it makes no sense!”  
“... Out of my way...” Dimitri mumbled, the grip on his lance tightening as he drowned out the cries of death surrounding him. The one working eye was starring down at his feet, unfocused.

He barely registered Claude's frustrated sigh before the other continued to try to persuade him.

“Dimitri, if we just joined forces our chances of winning agai– ”

Dimitri gritted his teeth as the grip on his lance tightened. He's had _enough_.  
Enough of this useless chitchat and _pitying_ eyes. Readying his lance, he barked, each word spit with venom as he bared his teeth like a deranged and feral animal:

“ I said: **_Out. Of. My. Way!_**”

He didn't give Claude time to react.

In a blink of an eye, he was throwing his lance like a spear in a frightening speed, putting all of his beastly strength to make sure that this weapon would deliver the other's much-deserved death.  
Dimitri waited to hear Claude's pained scream, _longed_ to witness as the life would drain out of his green eyes.

But the sight that awaited him was a different one.

The moment the lance was about to impale Claude, someone else had taken the blow.  
And that someone was none other than Byleth.  
That Byleth that was now falling from a Wyvern with an iron spear reaching all the way from his chest through his back.

“Teach, no!”

“We need a healer! _Fuck!_”

“Dimitri, **_what the fuck_** did you do?!”

“_Marianne?! _**_Mercedes?!_**_”_

Dimitri all but fell onto his knees as he heard voices rushing by, one louder than the other, screaming and crying as they joined the chorus of the pained cries of the deceased that haunted him day and night.

But why...?  
Why would he do something so foolish?!  
Hadn't he sworn to stay by his side? Why would the former professor go out of his way to save that man?!

But most importantly... why did his chest _hurt _so much? His heart ached as he had watched Claude catch the green-haired man and held him gently to his chest as he yelled for a healer.  
Why did the thought of Byleth actually dying dry his throat and make his eye burn as it seemed to be stung by salty tears?

Dimitri felt something wet run down his cheeks as he let out a scream in agony before he lost himself in his pain completely.


	2. Part Two: Aching Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snarling, Felix let go of Dimitri, pieces of fur falling off the coat as his fingers uncurled from the collar. His hands returned to his sides to form even tighter fists.  
Dimitri fell back into his chair, body limp and his face turned away, as though he was too ashamed to face Felix.
> 
> “I'm so sick of seeing your face,” Felix muttered as he turned around, immediately heading to the door. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped in his tracks. He placed a pale hand on the doorway as he spoke over his shoulder:  
“I hope you realize just how much he cares about you. Not that I get why.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dimitri does a lot of listening and byleth holds a lot of hands without knowing

The rest of the battle passed by in a blur. With Edelgard escaping and... Rodrigue leaving this world because of him, the guilt Dimitri felt was heavier than ever.

And Byleth... _Oh, Byleth_.

Dimitri was sitting at the bed of the comatose male. It's been three days since he nearly caused the tactician to lose his life.  
He was told that had he had hit the other's heart. Not piercing it but grazing it, enough to tear the fragile muscle.  
What Manuela didn't expect to discover was a crest stone sitting neatly within the other's heart. Fearing that removing it would cause Byleth to actually lose his life, the healer left it where she found it and patched up the wounded tactician as much as she could.

  
Now all they could do is hope for the other to wake up, hopefully.

The former songstress told him that there was no guarantee for him to wake up but they shouldn't give up hope since their professor was a strong man.  
But no matter how much the professor had joked about not having a heartbeat, that blow should have killed him.

_Dimitri _would have been the one to take Byleth's life.

No matter what the blond had tried to tell himself before, the thought of being the one to take the other's life...  
The thought alone drove tears into Dimitri's blue eye.

So, he stayed and watched over Byleth.

While the majority of his being felt wrong for being here and didn't feel like he deserved to be near the other man, the other was guilt-ridden and the thought of not watching over the hurt man made him feel even worse.  
Dimitri did not eat, sleep or take a bath – his skin and clothes were still caked in blood and dirt and the bangs under his eye darkening with each passing day.

But Dimitri knew.

He didn't deserve either of those things.

~

Another day passed and one of the most frequent visitors was Dedue.  
Dimitri had expected for him to show up to check up on the blond and not on the professor.  
While Dedue did look after the noble, constantly forced him to eat at least a tiny bit and was this close to just grab a bucket of soapy water to just dunk over the lance wielder, he also came to visit Byleth who was still sleeping peacefully like a princess from a fairy tale.

What the blond didn't know until now was that Dedue had found a close friend in the green-haired male.  
So close that the taller man would stop by at least twice a day and sit there, telling the sleeping and recovering male stories of his homeland and how their flowers and plants were faring in the greenhouse.

Every day he would bring in freshly picked Duscur flowers and today Ashe was accompanying him.

“He once told me that those are his favorite,” Dedue said as he placed them in a vase beside the bed Byleth was resting on, the eyes never leaving the flowers.  
Ashe beside him looked glumly at the professor, hands clasped in front of him as he stood close to Dedue.  
“The professor... He helped me take care of them, always did even back then,” he muttered as gently felt the fragile petal between his thumb and index finger.

“He promised me.”

The blond looked up. The white-haired man was stripped down from his armor and was now being held by Ashe who pressed himself closer to the taller male, arms wrapped around the middle and the pale face pressed into Dedue's shoulder.  
“He promised me to stay alive. Until we can see Duscur together. So that I can finally show him the fields filled with Duscur flowers as I promised.”

For the first time in Dimitri's life, he saw Dedue's eyes to water and felt his heart squeeze as he watched the other blink his tears away.

“He's going to wake up, Dedue,” Ashe whispered as let go of Dedue with his fist raised to his chest, bright-green eyes eying the comatose male with determination, “Our professor is strong!”  
Ashe tried his best to sound enthusiastic and flashed them both a smile. It wasn't as cheery as it usually was but it seemed to ease the silver-haired man a bit.  
“That he is,” Dedue agreed with a tiny smile and Ashe's shoulders sagged in relief after seeing the other relax a bit.  
“Besides,” the freckled male continued, “he came back to us after 5 years after falling off a cliff, t-there's no way he wouldn't come back from this!”

Dedue nodded, seemingly way more at ease than before and pressed a kiss against Ashe's silver hair. The other started to radiate with happiness as he squeezed his partner closer to himself and placed his cheek against the taller male's chest.

And Dimitri couldn't believe how much he missed in his months of ignorance.  
When did they start courting? When did Dedue and Byleth grow to be such good friends, making promises of traveling together after the war was over?

He knew they were upset with him but didn't dare to voice it.  
Dedue would never speak against him and Ashe was to nice to kick an already broken down man but he wished they just would.  
He wished they would just address the elephant in the room.

The heavy avoidance of talking about this situation made him feel even worse.

The blond watched the other two leave with a heavy heart and stared at Byleth's sleeping form.  
Fingers itched to reach out and grab the limp hand lying beside the resting body but didn't dare to do so.

It felt like he had no right to indulge in the warmth of the other.

~

Dimitri was surprised to see Sylvain visit. The redhead hadn't set foot into this room since Byleth was placed in there, so the blond expected not to see him soon.  
Sylvain had been worried sick on the battlefield the moment he found out what happened to Byleth and even trying to help out with his little knowledge in Faith that he had as a Dark Knight, desperately using healing magic alongside Mercedes hoping that it would help the fallen tactician.  
So when Sylvain hadn't entered the infirmary after the first few days, Dimitri decided he wouldn't come at all.

He was proven wrong by the redhead peeking meekly from behind the opened door, red hair and brown eyes barely visible before he finally dared to set foot into the room.

“Hey, Your Highness. How's it going?” Sylvain smiled, trying to break the tension hanging heavy in the air and got no response. His eye immediately landed on the comatose professor as he started talking.  
“I'm sorry for not stopping by sooner I... I, uh–” He stopped in the middle of his sentence and racked his brain to come up with a valid excuse. At last, he gave up with a tired sigh: “I have no excuse this time.”

Sylvain walked closer to the bed slowly, dressed in a simple linen dress shirt and dark pants with his hands in the pockets of the trousers and stopped right at the foot of it.

“If I'm going to be honest... I couldn't stand to look at you, _Dimitri._” Brown eyes narrowed as he glanced at the culprit and the corner of his lips turned downwards, his voice dark and cold.  
“Fuck, what were you thinking? I get taking out our enemies but Claude wasn't one! The Professor even _directed _us away from him!”  
The Dark Knight finally exploded, teeth gritted and fist clenched to his sides, his voice booming loudly through the otherwise silent room.

“I–I just don't–” Sylvain's breath shook as he breathed out, hands still formed in fists, so tightly that his fingernail left tiny crescent moons on his palm and he looked at Dimitri's with desperate eyes. “Just say something! Anything!”  
He was met with nothing. No words, only the faintest sound of breathing reached his ears.  
The blond didn't move, didn't even flinch when the other had raised his voice.  
Sylvain let out a frustrated sigh, fingers running through his red hair wildly before he sat down in the chair beside Byleth's bed with little care. The wood squeaked under his weight as he fell into it and placed his elbows on top of his knees, face buried in his hands.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered, his breath hot against his palms as they shook, his eyes squeezing shut as they tried to stop the tears of frustration from coming.  
“I know... I know that you didn't mean for any of this to happen.”  
His voice nearly cracked at the end as he sniffled and dropped his hands from his face, revealing a drained and listless expression.

“Y'know... I told him that I hated him before he disappeared, that he should pay for living such a carefree life despite owning a crest,” Sylvain muttered, the professor's limp hand now in his own as he sat in the chair with his back hunched over and his brown eyes downcast, “I never got the chance to tell him that I don't feel that way anymore.”  
“No, that's not right.” Sylvain talked in a voice so low that Dimitri nearly didn't catch what he just said. The redhead had his face turned away in shame as his grip on the comatose male's hand tightened slightly.  
With sorrow-filled eyes, he continued: “I didn't have the courage. To tell him that he was actually someone that I admire.”  
Sylvain stared at the green-haired man as his thumb started to caress the back of Byleth's pale hand, the same way he used to do to sooth Felix in their younger years.

“What if... What if it's too late? Too late this time?”

Sylvain's words were met with heavy silence as they echoed through the room. Glancing at Dimitri he saw the blond staring at the ground, in the same manner, he did when the other had entered the room.  
The redhead hadn't expected an answer anyway.  
Without another word, Sylvain patted the former professor's hand gently, not wanting to leave without a proper sign of goodbye, and exited the medical bay.

Dimitri gripped the area where his heart was tightly, nearly breaking the black armor that he wore.

_What if it truly was too late?_

~

The next day was filled with Dedue and Ashe doing their daily visit. Ashe coaxed him to eat something with a cheesy dish he did with his partner after he threatened him to be force-fed by the taller man.  
So, Dimitri took eating two spoons full over Dedue holding his mouth open while Ashe would shovel food down his throat.

Sylvain stopped by again and started talking about what was happening in the Monastery while Byleth was 'resting', as Sylvain had put it. And a lot of talk about Felix and how worried he was about his best friend.  
The blond wasn't sure if he was talking to both of them but Dimitri appreciated the updates nonetheless.

Speaking of Felix, he tended to visit the professor at night.

Felix was standing near the doorway, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. It was dark and only the moon shining through the window was a source of light.  
“I **fucking** can't believe you still dare to sit next to him,” Felix spat with venom in every single word and stalked closer to the blond, “like you didn't nearly kill him.”

Without saying another word, Felix stood at the foot of the bed as his eyes landed on the resting man.  
Byleth almost looked serene as the dark-haired male watched him in peace.  
Nearly angelic even with his pale minty-colored hair resting on the pillow, surrounding his head like a halo with his face relaxed in a way Felix has never seen it before. His chest was rising softly with every gentle breath he took.

Every single night Felix would stop by and let some of his build-up anger out.

Dimitri understood. Not only did he nearly kill Byleth, an important person in everyone's life at the Monastery, but also his father, Rodrigue, had taken a fatal stab wound that was meant for him, losing his life in return.

And as much as Felix hated his father, it had still been _his _father.  
A father that had loved his son despite being pushed away by him and knowing that he should handle the situation about Glenn better, always regretting that it had caused to destroy the bond they once had.

And Felix was grieving. Grieving in his own way.

He often found solace in spending time with Sylvain, letting out steam on the training grounds, much to Caspar's suffering, or on bad days he would simply stay in his room until Sylvain somehow slithered in to keep him company.  
The dark-haired male would probably find comfort in spending time with the resting professor as well but, there was also Dimitri in the very same room, the main source of his anger.  
Losing Rodrigue had been horrible. Felix had watched in horror how his father died in Dimitri's arms and it had made him feel sick to the stomach.  
On one hand, the boar deserved to watch the last bit of life leave the body of another person that foolishly cared about him but on the other hand...

It should have been him.

It should have been Felix to hold his father until he gave his last dying breath.

And that thought irritated Felix to no end.

“I can't believe the old man would throw his life away for someone like you. Not only does he decide to die but this fool nearly joins him.”

And it hurt Felix.  
While he was struggling with expressing and dealing with these emotions, the thought of not only losing his father but Byleth as well crushed his chest and a knot so tight formed in his throat the moment it crossed his mind.

The professor had helped him overcome his older brother's death in a way no one else had been able to.  
Sparring and training with him, making him actually think about why he had been training and training so relentlessly, spending time with him without pestering or annoying him.  
Somehow he had always known how to not push his buttons and knew when a topic became too touchy.  
And thanks to that Byleth had grown to something akin to a brother to him.

_Family._

The thought of losing two family members at once was enough to even drive Felix to tears, who hasn't cried since Glenn's death.  
Felix felt the undying rage in his gut built up again.

It was all because of that stupid boar!

Lashing out, Felix grabbed him by the fur collar off his cape and pulled him off his chair, noses touching as he stared with him with anger burning in his eyes.  
Dimitri didn't move. He was limp in Felix's tight grasp, eye downcast and arms dangling by his sides as his lance fell to the ground loudly.  
“**Fucking say** something for _yourself_!” he yelled into the other noble's face with bared teeth, spit landing on Dimitri's skin.

Snarling, he let go of Dimitri, pieces of fur falling off the coat as his fingers uncurled from the collar. His hands returned to his sides to form even tighter fists.  
Dimitri fell back into his chair, body limp and his face turned away, as though he was too ashamed to face Felix.

“I'm so sick of seeing your face,” Felix muttered as he turned around, immediately heading to the door. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped in his tracks. He placed a pale hand on the doorway as he spoke over his shoulder:  
“I hope you realize just how much he cares about you. Not that I get why.”  
The dark-haired male huffed and his nose scrunched up in disgust.  
“You better pay him back at least twice as much once he wakes up or I will end you with my own hands, boar.”  
The first time in a long while Dimitri felt the corners of his mouth twitch into the barest of a smile.

“I'm going to the training grounds, take a fucking bath you smell like shit.”

Huh. Just like Felix to mask comforting words behind venomous spite.

~

Cyril was another frequent visitor.

While Dimitri had known that Byleth had reached out to many people back then in his student years, he hadn't expected that Cyril had chosen to let the professor into his heart.  
He remembered seeing the Almyran around the older male a lot. At first, it was Byleth who reached out to the 14-year-old but it wasn't long before Cyril was looking out for Byleth and always eager to join missions.

It seemed that he had found an important figure in Byleth that he feared to lose again.

The first few times Cyril had been furious whenever he saw Dimitri.  
While he wouldn't insult and yell at him as Felix did, the raw hatred the younger male felt for the blond was made very clear with him usually getting greeted with an '_If he doesn't wake up, I will make you pay.'_

This afternoon, Cyril forwent his usually 'greeting' and gave him a simple nod before taking his usual seat to spent time with Byleth.

“First I lost both, Lady Rhea and the professor,” the brunet started to explain after a few moments of quietude as he sat as close as possible to Byleth in the wooden chair, his hand clasped together tightly as they were placed on his lap.  
Orange eyes stared at the floor as he continued:  
“I thought now that he was back everything would be better. We'd find Lady Rhea and maybe... maybe then...”  
Cyril scooted closer, hands now gripping the long white sleeve of the loose shirt Byleth was wearing.  
His orange eyes grew misty with tears as he continued to speak.

“He's always lookin' out for me. Like... Like a big brother. H-He carries snacks around for me because he worries that I don't eat enough.”

Seeing the young adult nearly break down crushed Dimitri. He felt his own chest grow heavy as he watched Cyril bottom lip tremble as his hold on the white sleeve tightened desperately.

“Please,” his voice was thick with emotions as he pressed his face into Byleth's right shoulder, his own both shacking as he finally let his tears free and gave a deep sob.  
Salty tears soon soaked the loose shirt the sleeping male was wearing. Quietly, Cyril whispered into the white fabric:  
“Please don't leave me alone, too.”

Dimitri felt his heart shatter.

If Byleth were to die, he would have taken this young adult's last family away, too.

Like it had happened all those years ago to himself.

He suppressed his own tears as he watched Cyril cry into his big brother's shoulder without making a single sound.

~

Around dinner, after Dedue left and Mercedes did her daily check-up on Byleth's wound, the person Dimitri wanted to see the least finally visited.  
Claude walked into the room, body trying to look like his regular relaxed and scheming self but he couldn't hide the tension that was holding his posture hostage.

“Don't worry, Your Highness. I'm not here to get my revenge,” he smiled at the blond and ended the sentence with a wink, arms opened wide as he sauntered over to the bed Byleth was resting on.  
It didn't ease the deep rooting guilt Dimitri felt for trying to murder Claude in cold blood.  
The hate and disgust he felt for not having felt remorse back then but also going against Byleth's orders who had tried to lead them away from the Alliance weighed heavy on his mind and shoulders.

Regret and guilt had a tight hold onto Claude's heart as he brushed one of the wild strands of green hair out of Byleth's face. A sigh escaped his lips as he sat down on the bed near the resting professor's legs.

“I can't believe that you would choose my life over your own.” A sad smile graced the brunet's lips as he took hold of Byleth's limp hand, softly placing it between the palms of his hands.

“I'm sorry, my friend,” Claude's voice grew thick with emotions as he wildly blinked, trying to keep his tears at bay, “I couldn't bring myself to visit you sooner. I feared that seeing you like this would break my heart. And it does.”  
The Alliance leader gave a shaky breath, green eyes staring at area where the lance had pierced the upper body of the tactician that was wrapped in white gauze.  
“You shouldn't have done that. There are so many people that need you. But I know if you were awake you would tell me you would do it again,” Claude said with a sad laugh as he thought about how stubborn the professor could be, especially when it came to the people he cared about.

“I would've done the same for you, y'know. No matter which side we are on. I hope you know that my friend,” the brunet whispered as his palm caressed the back of Byleth hand, dark eyelashes sticky with tears as a few salty droplets managed to escape.  
His hold on the pale hand tightened as Claude looked out of the window. Green eyes watched the sunset as the world was bathed in the deep colors of orange and red.  
Claude closed his eyes as he spoke softly:

“I don't know what God out there is listening but please bring him home safe.”

Dimitri prayed for the same.

~

Dimitri was exhausted.

Listening to everyone and hearing how much Byleth meant to them made Dimitri realize just how much he had messed up this time.  
And everyone still watched out for him, making sure he ate, talking to him and keeping him updated although he was the reason why everyone had been suffering for the past week.

Only now Dimitri understood just how much Byleth had done for him ever since he came back after all those years.

No matter how rude, no matter how violent and no matter how aggressive he had been, the former professor had stuck around.  
Always checking up on him, asking how he was doing and making sure he slept while all he did was sneer and taunt the other male.

Just now, he understood. He realized that Byleth would have never come back to haunt him.

All Byleth ever wanted was to watch over him and guide him, caring for him by his side.

His demons grew louder and louder as they whispered into his ear, cackling and mocking him endlessly for his foolish actions that caused so much grief.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” the blond noble chanted as he pressed his forehead against the cold mattress, tears soaking the white sheet and turning it into a damp gray.  
“Please come back soon. I ne– Everyone here needs you.”

In the corner of his eye, he caught the movement of something.  
His working eye focused and what he saw made his blood run cold.  
Byleth's fingers twitch and slowly his fingers started to move and grab at the sheet covering the mattress.

The professor was waking up, as though his please had finally reached him.

But Dimitri wasn't ready.  
He wasn't ready to face Byleth and probably never will be.

Shame and remorse filled his veins at the thought of Byleth's sad and disappointed eyes staring into his soul.  
So, Dimitri fled in panic, his chair knocked over and the door wide open as his footsteps echoed through the hallway.

Byleth deserved better.

He didn't deserve to see Dimitri as the very first thing after waking up.  
It should be Cyril, Claude, Felix or whoever else was living and working on Garreg Mach grounds.  
Anyone but Dimitri deserved being by Byleth's side.

His legs carried him to the place he usually stayed and prayed in hope to escape his demons.

~

Byleth opened his eyes slowly.

The room was dark with only the moonlight shining through the window to illuminate his surroundings.  
The door leading into the room was thrown wide open and a wooden chair lay knocked over on the floor.  
A chill ran down his spine.

He woke up alone on this cold and gloomy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ajhsjkas sorry for extending this to 3 chapters!!!  
but this part was so much fun to write so it got quite long. the next chapter will be the last!!  
i dont know how long it will be but!!! the draft is kinda there so stay tuned!
> 
> thanks for reading!!
> 
> sorry for any mistakes i missed after rereading it!
> 
> (my brain: hey this is a dimileth fanfic, dont forget.
> 
> me: hnnng somft clauleth moment hnnng claude)


	3. Part Three: Familiar Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is something else you must know... He wants to go to Enbarr,” Claude told him, easy-going smile and tone replaced with seriousness.  
Byleth gripped the other man's hand tightly as he lifted his face from Claude's shoulder, concern washing over his features as he whispered in disbelief: “What?”  
Claude sighed and scooted closer, his green eyes staring into Byleth's own green ones.  
“Yeah, I talked to him earlier in the church. He told me he wanted to make his move tonight while everyone was resting. I fear you might be the only one to stop him from this suicide mission.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
**ajshssh i accidently hit publish before i finished my third round of rereading im sorry for ur innocent eyes having to see my sleep-deprived mess  
**  
im very tired and will correct everything else tomorrow so pls be gentle sobs
> 
> vibe for this chapter was [Lauv & Troye Sivan - i'm so tired...](https://youtu.be/fvjpE_wFL5A)

The familiar warmth surrounding Byleth was overwhelming. But in a good way.  
It felt like he was engulfed in an embrace akin of his father. Warm, secure and strong.

He felt safe.

“Well, well, look who decided to pay me a visit again.”

Byleth felt a voice call out as he was resting

“Are you going to wake up now or what?”

Byleth muttered incomprehensible strings of words as he turned away from the source of the whining.

“Stop that! Right now! I'm sick of treating you like a child! You are a fully grown adult and should act as such!”

He felt something hit his sides and his eyes sprung wide open as a pained wheeze escaped his lips.  
Blinking the rest of his sleepiness away, he spotted a blurry mix out of deep green and blue.

Before him stood Sothis with a smug smile on her lips.

“There! Was that really so hard?”

Byleth huffed as he rubbed his left eye, a yawn escaping past his lips as he slowly stood up.  
Sothis was sitting on her throne made out of stone, one leg was thrown over the other as her head was resting on top of her hand.

The Goddess let out a sigh.

“Seriously, how many times do you plan to die? You do realize that if you indeed perish, so do I? We are one and the same after all.”  
Her green eyes looked at him, drilling into his soul as she sat there and waited for an answer.  
Letting his head hang, pale green bang covered his eyes as he muttered his apology.  
Sothis let out another sigh as she closed her eyes, fingers drumming on the armrest of her throne.

“I know,” she started, eyes still closed as Byleth slowly looked up to her. Eyelids lifted and green eyes met green eyes, sadness filled her gaze as she continued: “I know that you try your best to avoid needless death, I can sense how slaying the innocent souls of your students' weights down your very own. But of what use will you be if you were to die?”  
Silence filled the dark place as Byleth stared at his boots, fists clenched at his sides.

“I'm sorry. I-I tried to save everyone...! I panicked and–” Byleth's breath stuttered as he inhaled deeply, feeling his emotions taking him over. _'I wanted to end this useless cycle of death'_ went unsaid but Sothis understood him regardless.

It was truly overwhelming.

Sothis was able to experience the intensity that Byleth felt emotions and it was downright terrifying.  
Thanks to being numb to feelings for most of his life, the ones he experienced now were oppressive and maddening.  
It was no wonder that this poor boy felt the need to protect everyone when the guilt he felt was at least twice as heavy as the one a regular mortal would feel.

The Goddess rose from her throne and slowly made her way to her friend.  
All this time she hasn't been able to reach out through him and seeing him struggle on his own broke her heart.  
The younger man had been struggling to keep his tears at bay and was sniffling every few seconds.  
“Now, now,” she cooed as he pulled him down to wrap him up in a hug, “no crying when you are visiting me.”  
Her tiny hand was patting the back of Byleth's head while the other was rubbing up and down his back. Sothis felt the man's forehead against her exposed shoulder as droplets of tears hit her skin.

“The blond one, Dimitri, has been by your side all this time. A whole week. That boy must be reeking by now.”

Dimitri? By his side? A whole week?  
Byleth felt his heart skip a beat.  
He hoped that he at least had rested and eaten something in between.

As though she could read his thoughts, she started to explain:  
“Your body needed some time to recover from the wounds you received and the exhaustion from using our powers too much. And do not worry, the young prince was taken care of in your absence.”

Byleth's shoulder sagged in relief as he let out a sigh.  
His constant worry for Dimitri always had him on the edge so hearing that someone had been looking after him made with feel slightly less awful.

For a while, Byleth indulged himself and stayed in the arms of his oldest friend.  
Her presence was soothing for his exhausted nerves and receiving her hug truly felt like spending a well-earned rest in a tavern after a mercenary job done well.

“Come on, now. Time to wake up. Your blond prince will be by your side when you finally awake,” Sothis spoke softly after a while, patted Byleth hair one last time and pulled away.  
She saw sadness flash through Byleth's eyes as his lips matched his sorrowful frown.  
With a smile, she pats both of his cheeks before pulling the corners of his lips into a smile to mirror her own.

“Now, don't look at me with those sad eyes. I will always be by your side watching over you, wherever you sense my presence or not.”

Sothis' comforting words brought a soft smile onto his lips. She couldn't help herself but grin triumphantly in return, obviously proud of her work as she watched the man, that she knew since his birth, look more like himself again.  
With her fist on her hips and a wide smile, she told him:

“Go on now. Your family is eagerly awaiting your return.”

~

That's when Byleth woke up at night in a lonely and dark room.

No Sothis, no Dimitri.

The blond noble wasn't by his side as Sothis had promised him, just a knocked-over chair and open door.  
Byleth tried his best to sit up. While his body had done a great job at letting his wounds heal, his chest still hurt when he moved and he still felt extremely sluggish from overusing his powers.  
Gently, he used his right arm to put his weight onto as his other pushed his body of the mattress.

After such a long rest and a still aching chest, Byleth was panting when he finally managed to sit up against the headrest.

A few seconds to catch his breath and he already heard heels clicking down the hallway.  
Manuela stood in the doorway, staring at him with wide eyes and a hand placed on her chest in surprise.  
“My, Professor! You're finally awake!” she exclaimed as she swiftly made her way over to him and immediately started to check his vitals.  
“Good thing I decided to do the night shift today! Looks like my womanly intuition was right after all,” she winked as she helped Byleth out of his loose shirt so she could unwrap his bandages.  
Manuela worked quickly as she checked the wound, hummed approvingly and wrapped his chest up in a new one.

“We have been worried that you wouldn't wake up,” Manuela sighed, hand on her cheek after she helped him get dressed again, “You took a fatal blow to the heart, it's a miracle you're still here with us.”  
He watched Manuela skirt around in the room, putting away the used gauze and medical equipment.  
“Poor Dimitri had been worried sick! He never left your side! Mmpf, I wish a man would care about me this way one day,” Manuela sighed wistfully at the end before suddenly stopping her rambling, “My, speaking of the prince, where _did _he go?”

Yeah, where did he go?  
Did he leave because he was going to wake up?  
Did he not want to see Byleth?  
Or did he not want Byleth to see _him_?  
Byleth grabbed the thin blanket covering him tightly in frustration as he watched Manuela engage in another rant.

Just as the wounded male was about to start speaking, Cyril burst the door open and startled the brunette woman nearly out of her high heels.  
The young man was out of breath as he stumbled into the room and quickly made his way to Byleth.  
Byleth looked at the man surprised, eyes blown wide as he watched Cyril sit down in the chair beside his bed. He scooted closer to the green-haired male and looked at him with misty eyes.

“I–I got you some candy,” Cyril sniffed and pulled out wrapped chocolates out of his pockets. They were tiny, perhaps a bit misshapen and the wrapping was kind of... messy.  
“I made them with Mercie's help...” Orange eyes stared at the floor as he presented the chocolates in his stretched out hands. Byleth looked at him with blinking eyes, slight confusion was written all over his face.  
“W-Well, you always make sure that I eat and that I'm doing okay so I thought...” he mumbled, face slightly flushing in embarrassment and his gaze still downcast.

He felt hands softly place on top of his.

Lifting his head he was met with Byleth's gentle smile and watery eyes.  
“Thank you so much, Cyril,” Byleth whispered as he gingerly took the candy out of Cyril's hands.  
He put them aside on the bedside table and slowly opened his arms, inviting the younger man into a hug.  
Cyril felt his bottom lip tremble as he flung himself at Byleth, wrapping his arms around the older male's upper body. The green-haired man inhaled sharply at the pain he felt for a moment and placed his arms around Cyril, cheek placed on top of the other's head.  
Manuela excused herself with a gentle smile and left the two of them alone as she decided to contact the ones that were still awake that their professor had finally woken up.

Comfortable silence filled the room as Cyril cried into his shoulder, soaking his shirt with his tears.  
“Don't ever do that again,” Cyril said as he raised his head with an upset expression and slightly pouting lips – the same way he used to look at him when he offered him help with cleaning.  
Byleth smiled and shook his head, looking at him with slightly sad eyes as he apologized softly.  
“I didn't mean to scare you,” he muttered as Cyril pulled away and rubbed his face dry, trying to get rid of the leftover tears.  
“I– You didn't– It's–” Cyril stuttered, having trouble with finding the right words to express himself.  
“It's okay,” Byleth shook his head, the gentle smile still on his lips. He knew what Cyril was trying to say. “You're like family to me as well.”  
The younger male nodded with tears once again collecting in his eyes and wiped them away with his sleeve before they could spill.

Now that Cyril had calmed down, he urged the tactician to try his chocolates, which Byleth happily did.

He hadn't had solid food for days and having sweets as his first kind of meal would certainly upset his stomach but to hell with it.  
Byleth quickly unwrapped the first one and put it in his mouth.  
Sweetness exploded all over his tastebuds as the chocolate melted on his tongue and he gave a satisfied sigh.  
“Good?” Cyril asked, excited to see the positive reaction and Byleth nodded eagerly.

The younger male was only one of the few people who knew that he had a weakness for sweets so Cyril seemed to be excited to have nailed the tiny chocolates on the first try.

Just as Byleth was about to eat a second one, Manuela reentered the room with Mercedes and Annette hot on her heels.  
“Professor!” both women exclaimed at the same time, both radiating happiness as they threw themselves at him in happiness.  
Annette was possibly bouncing with excitement after she pulled away from the hug as she presented a bag that was tied securely with a pink ribbon.  
“Oooh, Mercie and I made you some cookies! We didn't know when you would wake up so–”  
“– we made some every day! I was worried everyone would grow sick of them at one point,” Mercedes let out a gentle laugh as Annette excitedly shoved the bagged cookies into Byleth's hands.  
The blond healer spotted empty wrapping paper beside the resting male and smiled at Cyril.  
“I see you tried Cyril's delightful little chocolates!” she pointed out, one hand covering her excited smile slightly as Byleth nodded eagerly once again.

Cyril gave her a tiny grin and Mercedes couldn't help herself but clap her hands with glee.

Soon, the four of them chatting excitedly, Annette talking vividly with her hands as she caught him up on everything he had missed and urged him to try one of the cookies.  
“Now, now, the professor shouldn't eat so many sweets right after waking up,” Manuela scolded the four playfully as she watches Byleth stop in his movements just as he was about to take a bite of the cookie.  
“Aww, Professor Manuela, pleeease,” Annette begged and looked at her with big eyes and putting lips, “Please just one! Mercie and I worked so hard on these cookies and we were so excited to give them to the Professor!”

Well, Manuela never said that she could deny a request of a cute girl.

“One cookie... And only if I get one too.”  
Annette cheered and handed Manuela not only one but three whole cookies.  
The next few hours were spent with talking and sharing sweets until Byleth felt fatigue take him over again.

“Well, well, our dear Professor seems to be sleepy again. Let's leave him be, you can always come back tomorrow,” Manuela said and shooed the visitors out as Byleth was already on the verge of falling asleep again. Annette was waving as she wished him a good rest, Mercedes gently scolded her for being so loud, wishing the professor sweet dreams and told Annette to watch her feet and Cyril left with a quick hug and the promise to visit him again tomorrow.

Despite the warmth he felt, there was still the cold feeling of not seeing Dimitri that haunted him as darkness took Byleth over once again.

He sadly didn't have any sweet dreams despite all the candy he had eaten.

~

Around noon Byleth woke up again, the sluggish feeling hanging over his entire being still not gone.  
He really had used his powers to exhaustion last time and was paying the full price for it.

He looked out of his window and saw a grey and cloudy sky.  
Rain was falling.

Before he knew what was happening, the first visitors rolled in and the rest of the day Byleth was busy talking from one visitor to another.  
While he truly barely left his bed and all he did was talk to people, he was completely exhausted by the end of it.  
Cyril finally explained how he was there nearly the moment he had woken up. Thank his Wyvern for always having an eye on him and making sure that no shady figure besides Dimitri lay a finger on the resting man.

Byleth felt oddly touched that the young man had tried to watch over him in his vulnerable state.

Sylvain and Felix were his last visitors who had just left, not before Sylvain giving Byleth a bear hug and forcing Felix to join him, who left the room fuming with a bright red face and Sylvain following him laughing loudly.  
Byleth thought he could finally catch a break.

But of course, Claude always had impeccable timing.

The leader of the Alliance entered the room and closed the door gently behind him. He turned to Byleth with a bright smile on his face.  
“My friend,” his voice was soft just as his gaze, “I can't tell you how relieved I am to see you finally awake.”  
He quickly made his way towards Byleth and sat down on the bed beside him, taking one of the pale hands into his own. The same way he did when the other had been still unconscious.  
Byleth placed his other hand on top of Claude's and felt the other give him a soft squeeze.  
“I wanted to thank you for... protecting me.”  
The other man simply shook his head, pale minty bangs swaying from side to side. He gave Claude a timid smile.  
Just as Byleth was about to open his mouth, Claude interjected, already knowing what the other was about to say.  
“I know that you're going to tell me I shouldn't thank you but I obviously must. And... that you should know that I would give my life for yours as well, no matter how important my plans and goals seem to be.”

The archbishop nodded wildly a few times before leaned forward and placed his forehead against Claude's shoulder.

Both sat there together, simply enjoying the presence of another and the fact that they were still alive in this horrible war.

“There is something else you must know... He wants to go to Enbarr,” Claude told him, easy-going smile and tone replaced with seriousness.  
Byleth gripped the other man's hand tightly as he lifted his face from Claude's shoulder, concern washing over his features as he whispered in disbelief: “What?”  
Claude sighed and scooted closer, his green eyes staring into Byleth's own green ones.  
“Yeah, I talked to him earlier in the church. He told me he wanted to make his move tonight while everyone was resting. I fear you might be the only one to stop him from this suicide mission.”

Claude let go of Byleth's hand and stretched himself, before clapping once.

His grin returned full force as his green eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Come on now, my friend. Let's get you to your brooding prince,” Claude smiled with a wink and crouched down to the floor, back now facing Byleth.  
Byleth sat there, looking at him with confused eyes as he tilted his head to the side.  
“What? Get on! Piggyback ride time!”  
Claude grin widened at the amused snort he heard Byleth let out and heard the bed squeak from the weight that just left the mattress. Moments later he felt the other gently get on his back.

Two arms snaked around his neck as he grabbed the other's thighs and stood up. Byleth placed his head between Claude's shoulder blades.

Claude knew that Byleth could have made it by himself to the church, albeit _very_ slow, but he wanted to have a moment with his former teacher before he would... _disappear_.

“Teach, I know that I already thanked you before for saving me,” he started with his eyes looking steady ahead as he felt Byleth shift against his back. A pale cheek was now resting against him.  
“I just wanted to thank you for everything, even back then. I know that I sometimes appeared to be someone very disingenuous who only cared about his goals but... spending time with you back then truly opened my eyes,” he felt his own voice thicken with emotions the longer he went on with his monologue.  
The arms around his neck tightened, giving him a gentle squeeze to tell him that the other was still listening.  
“The next battle of the Alliance will be against the Empire,” he felt Byleth's body stiffen against his own. Claude gave his thighs a reassuring squeeze to ease the others worry before he continued: “Don't worry, I have a plan at the ready.”

_'As always,'_ he heard Byleth muttered and couldn't help but grin in return.

“Yes, _as always_,” he mimicked the other's voice and before Byleth could punish him for mocking him Claude proceeded to talk: “After we win against the Empire, I will be leaving Fódlan and the Alliance territory will become one with Faerghus as it once were.”  
Silence fell between the two. Aside from Claude's sturdy boots echoing through the halls, Claude was able to hear the steady breathing of the currently appointed archbishop.  
“To Almyra?”  
Claude nearly halted in his steps as he heard Byleth mutter those words before simply letting out a laugh.

Truly, nothing escaped this man.

“Yes, and I hope with you and Dimitri, we can create a new area of peace and open-mindedness.”

“...I'd like that very much.”

“I hoped you would say that.”

The rest of the way was spent in comfortable silence as Byleth felt sleep nearly take over him as the steady rhythm of Claude's walking and the sound of his boots hitting the floor tempted him to close his eyes and to rest.  
It wasn't long before they reached their destination.  
The brunet gently let Byleth down from his back only to pull him into a tight hug.

“Until we meet again, my friend,” Claude whispered warmly as a pressed the other close to him.  
“Until we meet again, my friend,” Byleth replied, voice slightly wavering as he blinked away his tears.  
He sincerely hoped that this wouldn't be a final goodbye.  
Byleth had found a wonderful friend in Claude that had helped him with getting out of his shell in his early professor months with his weirdly endearing pranks and schemes.

But Claude wouldn't be Claude if he didn't get the last word and were to let his best friend get away without embarrassing him.  
With a wide grin, he waved after Byleth who was about to open the doors to the church.

“Now go and get your man!”

Flushing brightly, Byleth nearly cursed for having ever told Claude about his crush on the prince during their old Garreg Mag days.  
With nearly all of his currently available strength, he pushed open the tiny door that was carved inside the huge passage for when single visitors would visit the church.

Entering the large room never felt this intimidating before.

While Byleth prided himself for being nearly fearless, he dreaded the upcoming conversation deeply.  
He worried that he might upset Dimitri in a way that will drive him away from him and everyone and directly into the arms of the enemy.  
Without feeling physically well enough Byleth wouldn't be able to use the Divine Pulse to turn back time in a worst-case scenario.

There stood Dimitri. Soaked from head to toe by the rain that had fallen earlier, he watched the rubble in front of him like he always did.  
Byleth made his way over to him, the sound of his footsteps ringing loudly in his own ears as each step felt heavier than the last.  
Once he reached Dimitri, he announced his presence by gently placing a hand on the other man's shoulder.

He felt Dimitri tense under his touch.

“What do you want?!” Dimitri spat and swatted his hand, forcing Byleth's own off of him as he looked at him with gritted teeth of his shoulder. Returning his hand to his side, Byleth stepped in front of the blond with his green eyes looking at the other with concern.

“You're not going to go to Enbarr on your own, are you?”

“So what if I am?!” Dimitri barred his teeth as he looked at Byleth with anger and desperation in his blue eye.

“You're going to die if you go there alone, Dimitri. Please, I–” Byleth pleaded as he took a step closer but with each step he took to get to the noble, the other took one back to try to keep his distance.  
Before Byleth was able to continue his plea, he was cut off by the other:  
“I–I have to avenge the dead! They will never be able to rest unless I deliver them that cursed woman's head!”

“Dimit–”

“If I stay–!” Dimitri took a shaky breath, a knot suddenly forming in his throat and_ it was suddenly so hard to speak_, “I–I might take your life, Byleth. _Like I already_– No matter how much you try to tell me– I don't– I _just can't_–”  
Dimitri fell to his knees, voices of the fallen and demons haunting his mind as he squeezed his eye shut, tried to escape their mocking taunts and degradation by covering his ears with his hands, fingers digging into his scalp.

“You stayed with me the whole time, didn't you?” Byleth interjected, brow furrowed as he stepped closer to the kneeling man that had become a rambling mess and ever so gently pried the hands away from his head, fearing that he might actually crush his skull if he continued to apply more pressure.  
Dimitri nodded without saying a single word, the action seemingly meek and timid as his gaze was still directed towards the floor.  
“You stayed by my side and watched over me, kept me safe. I know you are blaming yourself for my injuries but... if I am able to forgive you, can you perhaps forgive yourself as well? For not only my injuries but for what occurred all those years ago in Duscur?”

Dimitri didn't reply. He sat there, his chest heavy and head drumming wildly as he tried to process what he had just been told.  
Lost, he placed a hand on his chest where his heart rested and whispered:  
“But if I don't live for fallen– w–who or what am I supposed to live for?”

“Yourself, Dima. And whatever you believe in.”

A pale hand reached out in front of him. Dimitri looked up and saw Byleth standing in front of him, a gentle smile on his lips as he looked at Dimitri with warm and mellow eyes.  
Light was shining through the broken ceiling. A single blue eye watched as Byleth already pale hair seemed to light up and glow white in the moonlight.

Dimitri's light. He was standing right there, reaching out to him.

Hesitantly, the blond touched Byleth's palm with his calloused fingers.  
Dimitri felt his hand being grabbed and his body being pulled up to his feet as for the first time he realized just small the professor was compared to him.  
Smaller and yet, so much stronger, warmer and... brighter.

Truly, his light.

“Your hands are so warm... Have they always been?”

Before the noble knew what came over him, he felt tears running down his face as he finally allowed himself to indulge in the warmth of the other, one sob after another escaping his throat and past his lips.  
Being surrounded by the familiar glow of the former professor and the gentle touches were what finally broke down Dimitri's last remaining wall.

Byleth grabbed the blond's face to pull him closer to his own and stood up on his tiptoes.  
Dimitri felt soft lips press against his forehead as he continued to sob. One hand was running through his golden hair as skilled fingers undid his messy ponytail while the other was caressing his tear-stained cheek softly.  
The Goddess tried his best to kiss away the broken man's tears as he cried his soul out, finally letting go of his pent up emotions that have been boiling deep inside of him for over five, no, over nine years.

As Dimitri felt nimble fingers undo his eye patch, he let them.

If Byleth desired to see him without it, he would let him do as he pleased.

The dark cloth slid off his face as Byleth removed it and fingers softly danced across the remaining scar of his hollow eye socket.  
A soft kiss was placed on top of it, fingers softly brushing away the still falling tears.

“I'm so sorry,” the blond sobbed and buried his face in Byleth neck. “_So so so sorry! For everything that I did!_”  
Byleth hummed softly while his hands returned to Dimitri's hair, combing through the blond strands with care.  
The acting archbishop started to quietly sing one of the many songs Rhea has thought him all those years back as he rocked them both from side to side.

“I forgive you, Dima,” Byleth whispered tenderly after the blond started to calm down. He pressed a soft kiss against Dimitri's temple and muttered: “And please forgive me for leaving you alone all those years ago as well.”  
They basked in the moonlight as they enjoyed each other's warmness and presence.

  
For a short while, they simply stood in the middle of the empty church and savored the moment.

“Dima, you smell awful,” Byleth mumbled against Dimitri's fluffy collar and he felt the blond man's body tense in response.

“A-Ah, I'm so sorry, I haven't really–”

“It's fine, I've smelled worse.” There was amusement in his tone as he murmured those words sleepily and felt the warmth of Dimitri's flushed skin as he nuzzled the blond's neck with his nose.  
Dimitri sighed, himself completely exhausted as he noticed how Byleth was slowly but surely falling asleep against him.  
With caution, he settled down against one of the many pillars and wrapped his partner – well, he hoped since they haven't discussed that part yet – in his cape alongside himself.  
Snuggling closer, Byleth was resting on the other man's lap and placed his ear against Dimitri's armor-clad chest.  
Faintly, he heard the other's heartbeat and felt warmth blossoming in his heart as both drifted away into a deep slumber.

Although both were sleeping on the floor of an abandoned church, this is the first time in years and especially a week that Dimitri actually found some good rest.  
With no nightmares or demons haunting him in his dreams.

The next morning he would wake up with a sore back and neck but the thought of waking up to Byleth in his arms was making up for his stiff muscles.

_They would be alright as long as they had each other._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thats it everyone!!!!
> 
> thank you everyone for reading and commenting on this tiny three chapter fanfic!  
i had a lot of fun writing this and hope you all had fun reading it just as much!
> 
> everyone gets a happy ending bc they deserve it and in my canon no one gets to be sad at the end :'))
> 
> I once again sincerely apologise for any mistakes i stayed up extra long to finish this sobs and looks at the clock reading 3AM


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But the thought of being tied to Byleth for the rest of his life? Being able to call him his husband?  
Adopt orphans to give them a new home? And perhaps one day retire and move together far away to the countryside or maybe a nice and cozy cottage in the woods?  
While in the present they most likely wouldn't be able to live together with one another but one day...  
Dimitri let himself smile at the thought of having a future together.
> 
> “Yes, I think after the war sounds just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are some tiny extra drabbles, something short and sweet!!  
i added the bonus from last chapter to this part to make the fic more tidy and wrote some extra bits!

♦

After Dimitri had apologized to every single one of their team lengthy and profusely, it was hard not to spot him with Byleth. 

To be fair, it would be easier to count the times he was without the other.

They were always close by each other's side, much closer than necessary, would greet everyone in the morning together and retire together for the night.  
While they did act professionally during meetings, the moment it was over they automatically gravitated towards each other.  
It seriously wasn't hard to figure out what was going on.

Especially when they were exchanging endearments right in front of others.

“Be gross somewhere else!” Felix spat as he watched the noble pepper kisses all over the face of his smaller partner, having Byleth fully wrapped in his cape as they sat in front of the fireplace in the Knights Hall.  
All Felix wanted was to get rid of some energy by slashing some training dummies but _these two_ had to be here.  
The tactician was positively glowing at the smooches he was receiving and was comfortably sitting on the noble's lap with arms wrapped around Dimitri's shoulders.  
Byleth was obviously enjoying the attention Dimitri was showering him in, the thick cape securely covering them both as they were bathed in the warm glow of the fire burning in the fireplace in front of them.

Felix's words fell onto deaf ears.

“Y'know, you don't have to be jealous,” Sylvain spoke up behind the Mortal Servant and Felix flinched in surprise as he had not heard the other approach him from behind.

“I'm not jealous, you idiot,” the dark-haired male hissed with his arms crossed, his scowl deepening as he glared at Sylvain. The redhead grinned at him as he placed a hand on the shorter male's shoulder.

“Aww, c'mon. You're handsome! We can try and find you a nice gir–”

“I'm leaving,” Felix smacked the other's hand away from him with a huff and turned around to leave the Knights Hall.

“W-Wait, Felix! H–How about dinner? Just you and me? Somewhere outside the Monastery?”

Sylvain watched as the other halted in his step but didn't turn around. Fists clenched to his sides, he replied: “...Fine, but you're paying.” 

The redhead saw Felix's ear flush bright red from behind and the lance wielder couldn't help himself but silently fist-pump.

“Score,” he whispered before quickly running up to Felix to match the other's steps and wrapping his around the dark-haired male's shoulder.

Felix let himself get pulled closer.

Byleth and Dimitri were blissfully unaware of that exchange as they softly kissed and basked in each other's warmth.

♦

After defeating Cornelia and taking back Faerghus, Dimitri was stunned by the sheer support and approval that he received by the Kingdom.  
Honestly speaking, he didn't believe that he deserved such a warm welcome from his people.  
But when Byleth stood beside him, smiling as he gently urged him out with a soft hand on his lower back to look down at the applauding and roaring crowd he felt his heart soar.  
Byleth ever by his side, stood close as the crowd screamed in joy as they finally had their rightful king back and Dimitri couldn't help himself but reach out for the other's hand.  
Stealing a quick glance from the corner of his eyes, he saw Byleth blush slightly as he squeezed his gloved hand.

With concentrated gentleness, he returned the gesture with a bright smile before intertwining their fingers and ever so slightly pulling Byleth closer as the crowd cheered in the background.

♦

“Excuse my noisiness, Your Highness, but when  _ is _ the wedding?” Gilbert asked casually as both of them set near the campfire. Dimitri, who had been eating a cheesy dish Dedue and Ashe had prepared,  _ gracefully _ started to choke on his food.  
Dimitri quickly managed to get the situation under control by hammering against his chest, which sadly resulted in cracks in his already worn-out armor.

“E-Excuse me, Gilbert?” The blond was still slightly wheezing as he turned his attention to Gilbert, who was doing some maintenance on the troupe's weapons.

“Your Highness and the Professor? I assumed that you two were courting. I must apologize if I assumed wrongly,” the knight bowed in his sitting state, serious facade never changing as he continued to tend to the weapons.

Thank Goddess Byleth had already gone to bed so he didn't get a chance to witness this.

“I, uh, you are correct in your assumption, yes,” Dimitri cleared his throat behind his fist as he awkwardly looked aside, a faint blush adorning his cheeks.

“B-But we are nowhere near marriage yet!” the noble nearly shrieked as he held his plate tightly between his fingers. It cracked slightly under the pressure of his firm grip.

The old knight silently continued with his work, urging the noble to go on with a slight raise of the eyebrow.

“Perhaps after the war is over? I-I don't know,” Dimitri added, the red now fully taken over his face as he sat aside his plate, worrying that he might fully break it if he kept it in his nervous hands.

Embarrassed, he buried his red face in his gloved hands.

It wasn't as though Dimitri hadn't thought about marrying Byleth!

To be frank, he had fantasized about his entire life together with Byleth the moment he basically met the other man.  
But they were still freshly courting. And while he wanted nothing more than to scream and proclaim his love for the archbishop loudly for anyone and everyone to hear, their relationship was still new.  
And Sothis knows, both had zero experience when it came to courting and romantic relationships in general.  
But the thought of being tied to Byleth for the rest of his life? Being able to call him his husband?  
Adopt orphans to give them a new home? And perhaps one day retire and move together far away to the countryside or maybe a nice and cozy cottage in the woods?  
While in the present they most likely wouldn't be able to live together with one another but one day...

Dimitri let himself smile at the thought of having a future together.

“Yes, I think after the war sounds just fine.”

Gilbert patted his shoulder with a proud smile before he retired to rest for the night.  
Dimitri stayed a while longer, watching the fire as he couldn't help but imagine a future where he could lie with Byleth every night and wake up to his beautiful resting face every single morning.  
Before he knew it, the fire had burned out, leaving only a few faintly glowing embers amidst ashes of what used to be thick wooden logs that Dedue had been nice enough to provide.  
Quietly, the King sneaked into Byleth's tent to finally lie down to rest with his chest pressed against the smaller male's back.

It needn't be said that it was Dimitri's tent as well.

♦

Byleth felt tears gather in his eyes when he saw Dimitri kneel in front of his with a stunning green ring in his palm.  
He watching him speak, voice shaky and nervous as he proposed, cheeks ablaze and hands jittery.  
His own blue eye threatening to spill tears when he watched Byleth nod eagerly multiply times not before pulling out his very own beautiful purple ring.  
Byleth kneeled himself, both of them now down with one knee on the floor as he asked Dimitri to spend the rest of his life as his husband while tears of happiness were now staining his ruddy cheeks.

“ _ One day, I hope you’ll give this ring to someone you love.” _

Jeralt's words seemed to ring through the air as he placed his late mother's ring on his financé's finger and felt the blond do the same.  
Byleth felt Dimitri pull him closer, holding his hand as he buried his face in the pale green hair after he placed a tender kiss on Byleth's forehead.  
Smiling brightly, the archbishop leaned his head on Dimitri's chest and let himself be held as the sunset bathed them both in dark red and orange rays.

He had fulfilled his father's last wish.

♦

Heaven.

Pressing up against Byleth's back, sweat coating their skins as they were coming down from the euphoric high and Dimitri burying his nose between the other's neck and shoulder.  
Moist pale green hair tickled his face as he inhaled Byleth's scent and placed his hand on top of his husband's chest, feeling his breathing calming down steadily after sharing a bed together.  
Peppering Byleth's neck with soft kisses, he pulled the smaller man closer to his chest and intertwined their legs with one another.  
“You're tickling me,” Byleth chuckled tenderly as the felt the blond exhale through his nose the green-haired male reached out, carding his fingers through long blond locks.   
Sitting up just the slightest, he turned his head to meet Dimitri's lips in a gentle kiss.

Dimitri simply couldn't get enough.

Just a few days ago they had gotten married and the whole nation had cheered in celebration at their union in marriage.  
He knew that soon they would have to part ways for a while; Dimitri staying in Faerghus, leading his people, while Byleth had to return to Garreg Mach, leading the faithful and teaching the new students at the Monastery.  
So you may judge him as much as you like, but he was going to spend every single possible second with his spouse.

Feeling Byleth let out another tiny laugh as Dimitri softly caressed his chest, he broke the lazy kiss they shared and gently pushed the king onto his back.  
Lying down on top of the taller male, Byleth placed his ear where the other's heart should be and closed his eyes as he listened to Dimitri's soft heartbeat.  
One of his favorite things to do it is to simply lay down and be covered by Dimitri's long cape while he listened to his heart beating against his chest.  
The king wrapped his arms around Byleth, resting on the mop of pale minty hair as the other settled near the other's lower back, where the archbishop felt a pleasant soreness from their previous activities.

Being just like this, together with Byleth, skin to skin...

It truly felt like heaven.

♦

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this tiny extra!!!  
i wanted to write some sweet for these two but it wasn't enough to make a separate oneshot so i decided to add it here.  
with this, this story is now complete!! 
> 
> thank you very much for reading <333

**Author's Note:**

> i love it when dima yeets his lance, its my fav crit animation of the entire game.
> 
> also, lorenz's death? i fucking weeped i love my stinky son
> 
> my [tumblr](https://feeniecchi.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/Feeniecchi)!! :))


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